Have we been living in Soyo for over a year? Has it changed me?

Yes and yes...

As I published my last blog last May, I wondered if I had changed much since leaving the states in September of 2012.  The answer, as you already may have guessed, is that I have. Age has a way of mellowing our temperaments, but experiences in our lives help to mold us. As my husband and I made our way around the US this summer, we were in awe of the advantages, fabulous infrastructure and luxuries that we had taken for granted when we lived there. By the way, even the word, luxuries, has taken on a new meaning. Luxuries in my dictionary now includes dependable source of running water, electricity, public bathrooms, paved roads...you get the picture. That perspective change was understandable ... what was unexpected, was a change in our attitudes and expectations. We seem to be more tolerant and patient. The worst of traffic jams, or a long line at a store, is now tolerable and we marvel at the sense of order there seems to be in the US. Hah! Yeah, those of you that know me are wondering how that could have happened to me. Believe me, it was a shock to me as well. So, maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks? Apparently so!

Since my return from the states this summer, I got quite busy again with different activities including traveling to the Mpinda Mission school twice a week to work with the first and second grade students. It continues to be the highlight of my life here in Soyo. Unfortunately, the Angolan school year came to a close in November. The students will be on vacation until mid-February. Summer time is approaching here in Angola and the rainy season is about to start . It makes sense that the children will be enjoying their break and not having to endure even hotter temperatures in the very basic concrete classrooms. The flooding that occurs on a regular basis during the rainy season would also be a challenge for them if schools were in session during this time.

Expat/Angolan spouses at Mpinda Mission School

We have welcomed two new expat couples to the Kimbumba community. One couple, Miriam and Vic, moved to Soyo from a previous assignment in Venezuela. Another couple, Eddie and Karen, came from Alabama. They are a great addition to our expat family and have already made a big impact on our social and community activities. The sad news is that we have started saying goodbye to several couples that have completed their assignments in Soyo. Cindy & Nyles, Eric & Marina, Joan & Bernie, and Jan & Andy will be leaving Angola by year end. This is the tough part! We all know that we come here to be a part of the community for a few years and we must part ways at the end of our assignments. That said, it is hard to tell your heart to hold back from becoming too close due to the inevitable goodbyes. It is a very close knit community of expats in Kimbumba. We share good times and very challenging times...we cry, laugh and share experiences that not too many people would find tolerable...and yet, we survive together and strong bonds are formed. The good news is that we are developing life long friends. The bad news is that the friends we are with today will soon be scattered all over the world...not down the street or across town. Thank goodness for technology like email, Skype, Facetime, etc.

Kinwica get together for Joan and Bernie

Kinwica get together for Joan and Bernie

 

Kinwica get together for Joan and Bernie

Nyles and Cindy's going away dinner at Nempanzu

Bernie and Joan

Nyles and Cindy

Kimbumba ladies

Kimbumba men

Entertainment included a contortionist

Angolan cultural dance

 

Andy and Jan

In an effort to bring together the expat and Angolan community family members, the plant HR director asked for volunteers to form a social committee a few weeks ago. Miriam and I volunteered to serve on the committee. Jacira and Liliane, Angolan spouses volunteered as well. It seems to be working. Four of the Angolan spouses joined the expats on the twice weekly trips to Mpinda Mission school to work with the first and second graders in the last weeks of school. With the help of our new expat spouse, Karen, who is a retired teacher, we started planning a Christmas program with the Mpinda orphans. The Angolan spouses are a great help for this project, as they are educating us on the cultural nuances of the Christmas traditions and are able to translate what is needed of the girls and boys when requests in Spanish or English do not seem to work. 

Ladies at Mpinda School

Working on the social committee with the Angolan spouses, Jacira and Liliane, has provided a greater appreciation for some of the cultural differences that exist between expats and Angolans. One marked difference is the ritual of marriage. Marriage in Angola tends to be a luxury rather than a common occurrence. In talking to the Angolan spouses, it is because an Angolan man is expected to provide many gifts to the Angolan woman's family when asking for her hand in marriage. Life in Angola is tough enough and many people are just trying to make it through each day with enough resources to feed themselves. Spending money on gifts such as cases of beer, goats, whiskey for your intended fiance's family seems like an extreme luxury to many Angolan men and women. We understand that this is the reason that most decide to live together instead of marry in the traditional Angolan customary way. This is quite perplexing, since the Angolan population is predominantly Catholic. The Bishop officiated mass a few weeks ago and despite my still limited grasp of the Portuguese language, his message was VERY clear to me. He insisted that the institution of marriage was quite important and universal and not to be considered a cultural choice. Children seem to be the on the receiving end of the problems that come with the lack of formalized marriages here. Children primarily tend to be the responsibility of the mother. If the biological father dies, the children are not the heirs of the father. Instead, the father's nieces and nephews from his sister(s) are the heirs. The reason is that there is no legal proof that the children really are the father's descendants. 

The new social committee coordinated a street party for all Kimbumba resident plant employees and families. The goal was to bring Angolan and expats together to share their favorite dishes and provide a venue for social interaction. The party was a success! Expat dishes included spaghetti, chile & cornbread, red beans & rice, grilled chicken, shepherd's pie, Angolan funge, fish, cole slaw, cookies, brownies, breads, etc. A special treat provided by the Angolans was grilled goat. The goat was brought to one of the houses the day before the party and tied up as though it were a pet. We tried to take alternate routes when coming home that day, so as to not develop a friendship with the goat, since we knew it's fate. Lest you think I felt too bad about the goat's demise. let me tell you that I had a taste of the grilled delicacy and loved it! The professional quality pictures below are thanks to our expat pro, Nate!

Eric, Marina and Bernie

Kris, Jan and Karen

Kris and Mo

Many neighbors came to enjoy the party!

Kimbumba Street Party group shot

 

Yes, this was the goat!

Ana & Jeff dancing???

As I mentioned earlier, the social committee led an initiative to  work on a Christmas Program with the Mpinda Mission School orphans. It was a great experience working with these students. Our retired teacher expat, Karen, wrote the script which consisted of a portrayal of the nativity scene. The students have beautiful voices, so the choir prepared several Christmas songs. Expat spouses, Tari and Goulia, made costumes. The program was in Portuguese and English thanks to the help of the Angolan spouses. All of us worked with the students on proper English pronunciation and the timing of their scenes and songs. The songs were in Portuguese and Kisilongo (a Soyo dialect) except for the last song, which was in English, We Wish You a Merry Christmas. It was funny to hear the giggles from the students when they tried to pronounce the words to the song. The words "new" and "earth" seemed to be the most challenging ones. We tried to over emphasize the sounds in an effort to help them to pronounce these words...this generated giggles as they tried to imitate us. We practiced for about a month and in the last 2 weeks, held practice every day. Everything slowly came together...it was ready for prime time on Thursday, November 28th. Yes, that is right, Thanksgiving Day in the US. Here it was just another day. It was the best day that we could think of to bring the community together to celebrate Christmas and give thanks for the many blessings bestowed. 

Karen helps Celina with costume fitting

Jan helps with English pronunciation

Mother Superior Elisabeth shaves a wild boar to prep him for dinner tonight

What a great Thanksgiving Day for all of us! I'm including pictures/videos of the Christmas program and the choir performance the next day at the plant cafeteria for your enjoyment. The students really enjoyed the bus ride to the cafeteria "VIP style". They serenaded the employees and got to enjoy lunch which included ice cream for dessert! The social committee had also requested donations for the Mission School and that day, we delivered the results of the money/food drive to Mother Elisabeth. We managed to make major purchases of rice, beans, oil, flour, tuna, sardines, cookies, etc. Mother was thrilled with all of the food that was given to them...they will not have to worry about feeding the students for quite a while!

Choir and Christmas program

Mary, Joseph, Jesus and the star

The shepherds come to visit Mary, Joseph and Jesus

Mpinda Mission School students, Sister Isabel and Angolan/expat spouses

Mpinda Choir performance at cafeteria

Father Alejandro and Sister Isabel accepting the donations

                                               

                                                    African dance led by Celina:

 

 Celina speaks for all students, expressing gratitude for lunch and the very generous donations, then leads choir in their rendition of  "We Wish You a Merry Christmas":

Mpinda Student Choir sings during the Mpinda Christmas Program:

                                         

Our Thanksgiving was very special. I am thankful for many things in my life including: my Puerto Rican cultural heritage and strong family ties; the wonderful education that I received throughout my life thanks to parents that insisted upon it; my 32 year business career which allowed me to mature and helped me to develop important skills;  my husband; my children who continue to show their commitment to their values and their strength and determination, despite being so far away from their parents at this time; my sister who is my anchor and inspiration; and my good friends who amazingly reach out to me when I seem to need it the most. Thanks, God, for all you have given to me. May I show you my gratefulness through my acceptance of continued our guidance.

A friend recently called me from the US and during our conversation, we realized that we were having the same revelation in our lives. The experiences that we have had in our lives so far have prepared us for the experiences we are having today. However, we acknowledge that we must be open to the opportunities as they present themselves. Sometimes they are not very obvious or earth shattering at first glance. Regardless, they have been presented to us for a reason. We don't have to be in a third world country to have these life molding experiences. We just have to be open to them, accept them and learn from them. Most of these opportunities push us beyond our comfort zone. If they didn't, they would not have much effect on our lives. The key is to recognize them, embrace them and learn from them. The experiences I have encountered throughout my life have prepared me for the new experiences that God has place into my life this past year.

As Christmas approaches, many expats and Angolans make their preparations to leave Soyo for the holidays. We will be going to South Africa to spend a few weeks with our kids. We hope to explore a different part of the African continent and introduce our kids to Africa for the first time. We are also looking forward to our first safari (more blog pics!!). We will send out Christmas cards this year after Christmas so that we can send out a recent picture of all 4 of us together. I take this moment to reach out to all of you, our friends and family, to wish you a blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year! May 2014 bring even more beautiful experiences. May God give us the wisdom to understand that there are beautiful experiences in our everyday lives no matter where/who we are...it is up to us to recognize, accept and be thankful for them!